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Why Most Feedback Training is Complete Rubbish (And What Actually Works in 2025)
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The problem isn't that managers don't know feedback is important. The problem is they've been taught to deliver it like robots reading from a corporate manual.
I've been training workplace communication for seventeen years now, and I'm sick of watching perfectly intelligent humans transform into wooden puppets the moment someone mentions "constructive feedback." They start spouting garbage like "I'd like to provide you with some developmental opportunities" when what they really mean is "You stuffed up the Henderson report."
Here's what nobody wants to admit: most feedback training focuses on the wrong bloody thing entirely.
The Sandwich Method Can Get Stuffed
Let's start with the elephant in the room. The feedback sandwich – positive comment, criticism, positive comment – is workplace poison disguised as best practice.
Think about it. You're telling Sarah her presentation skills need work, but you bookend it with compliments about her punctuality and her nice shoes. What does Sarah remember? The shoes comment. What does Sarah hear? That you're not being straight with her.
I learned this the hard way in 2019 when I was consulting for a logistics company in Adelaide. Their team leader, Marcus, had been "sandwich training" his drivers for months. Half his crew thought they were performing brilliantly while the other half had stopped listening to him entirely. The disconnect was causing actual safety issues.
Real feedback isn't a bloody sandwich. It's a conversation.
What 73% of Managers Get Wrong About Timing
Most feedback happens at the worst possible moments. Annual reviews. Monthly one-on-ones. Scheduled "development conversations."
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Effective feedback happens in the moment, or as close to it as humanly possible. Not three weeks later when you've finally found a gap in your calendar.
I was working with a Melbourne construction firm last year where the site supervisor was saving up feedback like Christmas presents. By the time monthly reviews came around, he'd dump six weeks worth of observations on his tradies. Half of them couldn't even remember the incidents he was talking about.
The brain doesn't work that way. We need context. We need immediacy. We need the emotional connection to the actual event.
But here's where it gets interesting – and this is something most training completely ignores – timing isn't just about when you give feedback. It's about when the other person is ready to receive it.
The Listening Problem Nobody Talks About
I've watched hundreds of feedback conversations, and here's what happens 90% of the time: the manager launches into their prepared speech while the employee sits there planning their defence.
Nobody's actually listening to anybody.
The best feedback I've ever witnessed started with a question, not a statement. "What did you think about how that client meeting went?" or "How are you feeling about the quarterly targets so far?"
Sometimes – and this will shock the control freaks reading this – the employee identifies the exact issue you were planning to raise. They know. They always bloody know.
I remember watching a team leader in Brisbane do this beautifully with a graphic designer who'd been missing deadlines. Instead of launching into a lecture about time management, she asked, "What's been the trickiest part of the Morrison campaign for you?"
Ten minutes later, they'd identified a workflow problem that was affecting three other projects. The "feedback conversation" became a problem-solving session that improved the entire department's efficiency.
That's the difference between management theatre and actual leadership.
Why Emotional Intelligence Matters More Than Perfect Phrasing
Here's my controversial opinion: stop obsessing over the exact words and start paying attention to the human in front of you.
I've seen managers deliver textbook-perfect feedback that landed like a lead balloon because they completely missed the emotional context. The employee was dealing with a family crisis, or imposter syndrome, or they'd just been rejected for a promotion they really wanted.
Context matters more than scripts.
But this doesn't mean being soft or avoiding difficult conversations. It means being aware. It means adjusting your approach based on what's actually happening in the moment, not what your training manual told you would happen.
I worked with a warehouse manager in Perth who was legendary among his staff for his feedback skills. When I observed him, I realised he never used the same approach twice. With confident employees, he was direct and challenging. With newer team members, he asked more questions and provided more context. With his high performers, he focused on stretch goals and career development.
Same principles. Different delivery. That's emotional intelligence in action.
The Follow-Up Failure
This is where most feedback goes to die: in the complete absence of follow-up.
You have the conversation. You both nod. You shake hands. Then... nothing. Radio silence until the next scheduled feedback session.
That's not development. That's box-ticking.
Real feedback creates a feedback loop. You check in. You adjust. You celebrate progress. You course-correct when things go sideways.
I'm working with a Sydney-based marketing agency right now where they've built feedback into their daily stand-ups. Not formal, scheduled feedback – just quick check-ins. "How did that client call feel?" "What support do you need for the Williams presentation?" "That social media strategy you suggested last week is working brilliantly."
Continuous, contextual, conversational.
It's transformed their culture because feedback stopped being something that happens TO people and became something that happens WITH people.
The Specificity Trap
Here's another sacred cow I'm going to slaughter: the obsession with being "specific."
Yes, vague feedback is useless. "You need to communicate better" tells nobody anything. But I've watched managers get so caught up in documenting specific examples that they lose sight of the bigger patterns.
"On Tuesday at 2:17 PM, you interrupted Jennifer during the budget meeting, and then again on Wednesday morning you cut off Marcus while he was explaining the delivery schedule..."
Stop. Just stop.
The pattern is clear: this person interrupts colleagues. Address the pattern. Don't turn feedback into a courtroom prosecution with exhibits A through G.
What Actually Works
After seventeen years of watching feedback conversations succeed and fail, here's what consistently works:
Start with curiosity, not certainty. Ask questions before making statements. "I noticed X happened. What was going on for you in that moment?"
Be human, not perfect. Admit when you're not sure about something. Share your own struggles with similar challenges.
Focus on impact, not intention. It doesn't matter if they meant well. What matters is the effect their actions had on others, the project, or the customer experience.
Make it about tomorrow, not yesterday. "What would you do differently next time?" is more useful than "Here's everything you did wrong last time."
And for the love of all that's holy, end with next steps, not just awareness. Don't leave people hanging with problems and no path forward.
The Real Secret Nobody Teaches
Want to know the difference between managers who are brilliant at feedback and those who struggle with it?
The brilliant ones give feedback because they care about the person's success, not because it's Tuesday and feedback is scheduled.
They're not trying to fix people. They're trying to help people get better at things that matter to them.
That shift in mindset changes everything. The tone. The approach. The outcomes.
When feedback comes from genuine investment in someone's growth rather than from a performance management checklist, people can feel the difference. And they respond accordingly.
The Bottom Line
Effective feedback isn't a skill you master once and then deploy forever. It's an ongoing conversation that adapts to different people, different situations, and different goals.
Stop treating it like a corporate procedure and start treating it like what it actually is: one human helping another human get better at something that matters.
The rest is just paperwork.
For more insights on workplace communication and leadership development, check out Professional Development Skills training resources.